


A Healthy 8 Pound Baby

by Ivanna_panda13



Series: Would've Been A Great Trio [2]
Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: 1950s, Adoption, Bromance, Korean War, M/M, Romance, Soft "Trapper" John McIntyre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:54:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28018833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ivanna_panda13/pseuds/Ivanna_panda13
Summary: Trapper can't help but want to be a dad but is fearful. Bj just wants to see his friend happy as does Hawkeye.
Relationships: "Trapper" John McIntyre & Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, "Trapper" John McIntyre/Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce
Series: Would've Been A Great Trio [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002393
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	A Healthy 8 Pound Baby

**Author's Note:**

> Before anyone asks, Henry ain't dead. Also, my fav Trapper-centered ep is Kim. sue me

“17 hours of nothing but elbows deep in guts,” groaned Hawkeye, finding the first bench to sit on, leaning his head against the wall to gain some form of shut-eye. Trapper and Bj shuffled their way out of the OR, pulling off masks and hats with similar blurred vision. Trapper dropped right next to Hawkeye with a thud, resting his head on top of the other man. 

“I’m so hungry Igor can feed me anything he wants,” muttered Bj, yawning out loudly as he joined the men. The nurses plus Klinger were lovely enough to have coffee prepped for everyone, Klinger passing three for the swamp mates. 

“I can sleep for a week,” complained Frank, Margaret then whispering something in his ear. Even when believed to be in secret, Colonel Potter narrowed his eyes at the Majors as they scurried to the other side of the sinks.

“Does Major Burns really paint her toes?” asked Potter to the trio. Bj cracked a small tired smile, waiting for a funny Hawkeye or Trapper comeback as he sipped on bitter blacks.

“Yeah. He got his beautician license on the same corner as his medical one,” teased Trapper to the best of his abilities. 

“It came from his father's genes,” mumbled Hawkeye, managing to drink with his eyes closed.

“With a love for red nail polish,” added Bj, Trapper, and Hawkeye chuckling next to him. Colonel Potter joined in the fun, shaking his head in amusement from the wits the trio could have even in exhaustion. Before the Colonel could add another word, Radar soon rushed through the double doors, eyes like bright headlights. Colonel Potter’s name was being echoed by the young clerk.

“Radar, what’s the trouble my boy?” asked Colonel Potter. 

“We just got a radio message from Nurse Cratty,” said Radar in a fast rush. 

“Who’s a Nurse Cratty?” asked tired Bj. 

“Meg Cratty. She runs an orphanage not too far from here,” answered Hawkeye, sitting up straight to the Nurse’s name. Trapper keeping an open ear to what Radar had to say. Those orphans were some of the cutest kids he’d seen that weren’t his own daughters. 

“Uh, sir, she told me they’re being shelled and need to evacuate immediately,” said Radar. 

“Oh good heavens, but all of the children,” concerned Colonel Potter said. 

“It happened last year, Colonel. They bunked with us throughout the night until it was clear,” said Trapper. 

“It was a fun sleepover,” said Hawkeye, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes.

“Well in that case tell Nurse Cratty to come on her way with the children. We’ll take good care of them for the night,” ordered Colonel Potter. 

“But sir!” yelled out Frank in protest. Bj, Hawkeye, and Trapper groaning within seconds. “We can’t have those thieves over in our territory again!” said Frank, standing stiff straight to make himself seem tough. 

“Frank, shove a sock in it,” said Trapper, standing from his seat. “Come on you two lets get the tent ready for them,” Trapper lifted Hawkeye gently by the arm to gain balance on his feet, shuffling through with a hand on Hunnicutt's shoulder.

“They’re not sleeping in our tent!” yelled out Frank.

“Shut it,” Bj and Hawkeye said in unison. 

*

* * *

“How many kids do you think we can fit in here?” asked Bj, tucking in a white sheet for a cot right next to his. 

“I’m guessin’ four if they’re munchkins,” answered Trapper, fluffing the last pillow of the two cots between his and Hawk’s quarters. 

“Maybe five if Frank decides to take his sweet time painting Hot Lips nails,” said Hawkeye, checking out through the mesh walls for Nurse Cratty’s truck. 

“And how are these kids? How young are some of them? Do they come by to get checked from us?” asked Bj, frowning his brows close together. 

Hawk and Trapper exchanged a look, almost communicating on the worry of Bj. To them, seeing the orphans was a little bit of bittersweetness, the innocence radiating happiness. Trapper sat down on his cot, kicking his feet up on the next one. “There are about 12 kids from the last time we checked. They range from toddlers to 12-year-olds trying to make a quick nickel,” 

“They come in when we have enough for their yearly shots. Trap knows how to convince a 3-year-old it’s just a magic wand,” said Hawkeye fondly, pinching Trappers cheek as he sat by him. Trapper pushed Hawkeye’s hand away, the classic crooked smile on his lips. “We do have to send the ones that wander onto our tables. Hold them in there in case their moms come looking,” 

“Or get my hopes up,” mumbled Trapper. Before Bj could ask any more questions, Trapper jumped on his feet, heading straight out as Nurse Cratty’s truck pulled right in the middle of the camp. Hawkeye didn’t need to run out like Trapper, slowly standing to wait for Bj who wanted to ask more questions than ever. At first sight, Bj smiled from seeing the group of children, happy to help the kid down to be taken to the mess tent. 

“Nurse Cratty!” yelled out Trapper, carefully taking down the first kid he could pass onto. 

“What a pleasant visit!” said Hawkeye, passing a 6-year-old girl to Nurse Kellye. 

“Pierce! McIntyre! I’d return the compliment but I’m not a lying woman,” said Nurse Cratty, walking up to the back end of the truck. When Nurse Cratty came into the proper lighting of the shadows, Trapper’s calm smile dropped, scrunching his brows together as he glared right into Cratty’s arms. Hawkeye had to give Cratty a second glance to make sure his tired mind wasn't messing with him. A chubby little baby, swaddled in a warm blue blanket who was wide awake for the action.

“Wow! Congratulations on your new baby, Cratty,” said Hawkeye, touching an infant baby’s cheek, their big dark eyes exploring every corner. Nurse Cratty only cracked a smile as she gave a mental headcount after the truck was clear. 

“Well who is this?” asked Bj, smiling softly at the baby. “Hi, I’m Bj Hunnicutt. I’d shake your hand but looks like you’re busy,” 

“Nice to meet you, Bj. My sympathies for meeting like this. I’m Nurse Cratty and this little girl is Dallia,” Nurse Cratty rocked little Dallia in her arms in hopes to drift her to sleep.

“How old is she? She looks like her birthday was a month ago,” asked Trapper, lightly caressing Baby Dallia’s dark brown hair. 

“Close. She’s two months old,” 

“Please don’t tell me something unimaginable happened to her mother,” said Hawkeye. 

“No, nothing like that. The mother was a 15-year-old kid. Could you raise a baby alone at 15?” asked Nurse Cratty, the men only staying silent. “I forgot how much of a handful newborns are. I would rather have the 5-year-olds running laps around me,” 

“Well if you want, we could have the baby in our tent,” offered Trapper. Bj and Hawkeye immediately looked at each other then Trapper with frowned brows, hands-on hip to listen more on his plan. 

“Oh no that’s too much to ask,” said Nurse Cratty. 

“How so? Between the three of us, you got two dads of girls. And an uncle Hawk,” Trapper shrugged his shoulder, “Here let me get her,” carefully shifting Baby Dallia into his arms. 

“You sure about taking care of a newborn all night?” asked Hawkeye.

“You said we could fit five in the tent,” said Trapper, putting the softness in his eyes that he knew made Hawkeye weak. Hawkeye could only muster up a sigh and smiled at Baby Dallia. Bj began feeling the baby’s cheeks and forehead, the fatherly instinct he used shortly coming back. To the surprise of Nurse Cratty, Dallia soon began to close her eyes, Trapper letting the baby suckle on his finger. Trapper’s smile grew more for the baby while Hawkeye’s grew more for Trapper.

“Hey! You three!” Frank yelled out, stomping on his heavy feet right at them. 

“Shhhh!” the three men whispered out. Frank came to an abrupt halt, slightly confused to see a small baby. It wasn’t like there were orphans coming to stay with them on campgrounds. “Frank, you wake this baby up and I’ll perform a lobotomy on you,” threatened Hawkeye, gritting through his teeth.

“Why is there a baby between the three of you, degenerates?” asked Frank, curling his lip at the child. 

“I don’t know, Frank. We just walked up to this truck and picked up the first thing that caught my eye,” said Trapper, continuing to rock Dallia to sleep.

“Well, we’re all needed in the mess tent. The Colonel wants us to check the kids for anything before giving them something light to eat,” 

“Hawk and I will go. Trap, ask Klinger if he has a spare shoebox to put little Dallia in,” said Bj, softly patting Trapper’s shoulder before heading to the mess tent. 

“I’ll bring Dallia’s things to the Swamp soon. I trust you,” said Nurse Cratty, following Bj to the kids. Hawkeye only squeezed Trapper’s arm, the two communicating with only their eyes. Hawk could see the fast love Trapper was developing for Baby Dallia, remembering to put this conversation in his mental filing cabinet. 

“I said all doctors! And that’s an order!” 

Hawkeye rolled his eyes, gripping Franks bicep tightly to pull him away from Trapper. “You really want that goddamn lobotomy,”

*

* * *

“Can I ask you a question, Hawk?” 

“Shoot,” muttered Hawkeye. The two doctors stood side by side, tongue depressors in hand with a set of siblings in front of them. 

“What did Trapper mean by ‘got his hopes’ up?” asked Bj, gently placing one of the siblings down from the bench table. 

Hawkeye cleared his throat, clearing the old sibling to fetch themselves canned peaches being served. “He almost got to adopt a little five-year-old boy. Had every single thing approved from the army to his wife… only for the boy’s mom showing up soon after,” said Hawkeye, leaning against the bench. 

Bj’s face of concern mixed with sympathy came right back, sighing out. “How did he take that?” 

“Like we all normally do in here. Pretend and make up an excuse,” Hawkeye pressed his lips tightly together. “But I could see how much it hurt Trapper to have Kim go back to his mom. He loves being a dad with all his heart,” Hawkeye couldn’t help but form a fond smile on his lips, reminiscing on the few days Trapper was the happiest. The few days where Hawkeye could say he began to feel like a dad, bonding with Kim and growing closer to Trapper. 

“I know the feeling. I mean just seeing these kids make me miss Erin so much,” said Bj. 

“It was a smidge different though. We’ve all been around the kids, but Kim just pulled Trap in. It was the happiest I saw him. I guess that’s what happens when you see your child for the first time,”

“I don’t blame him for acting like that,” sighed out Bj, rubbing his hands together, hanging his head down low. 

Right as Hawkeye was about to speak again, Margaret came standing straight to the captains, a small medical bag hung on her shoulder. “Gentlemen. Cratty ordered me to deliver this to you. You three are having a tiny bunkmate for the night?” asked Margaret, setting the bag on Hawkeye’s lap. 

“Thanks, Trapper decided to take care of a two-month-old,” answered Hawkeye, examining how many bottles of formula Baby Dallia would need for the night. 

“And Cratty really believes Trapper is suitable for that kind of responsibility?” asked Margaret, crossing her arms, her sarcasm sipping out. “You don’t think one of my nurses should watch the baby?”

Hawkeye narrowed his eyes at the Major, standing up as he swung the medical bag onto his shoulder. “No, I don’t. I think Trapper is 100% fit to take care of a baby for one night. Now if you will excuse me, I have a baby to help feed. Come on Beej,” Hawkeye didn’t need to wait for a smart nose response from the Nurse Major, aiming right out of the mess tent to Baby Dallia. Bj twiddled his fingers away at Margaret, an exciting pep in his step to check in on Trapper. As Hawkeye and Bj walked closer to their tent, they could see Trapper cradle an unswaddled Dallia in his arms, almost appearing to sing a lullaby to the baby. The loving fond smile of Hawkeye growing back again, almost glued at the scene.

“Has anyone ever mentioned how dopey you look with that smile?” teased Bj with a smirk, opening the door for Hawkeye. Hawkeye only stuck his tongue out making Bj chuckle. “Delivery for Doctor McIntyre,” 

“Or Daddy McIntyre,” joked Hawkeye, sitting behind Trapper who sent a comical glare at the man. 

“Cool it, lover boy,” The only response Hawkeye could give was an air kiss.

“We see you’ve redecorated the cots around,” said Bj. In the midst of the hectic camp, Radar was able to create his version of a bassinet, a shallow deep wooden box with a long pillow for a mattress. It was laid on top of the cot by Trappers, for easy reach in the middle of the night.

Hawkeye dropped the bag between the two of them, analyzing what Nurse Cratty packed in. The medical baby bag had everything for Baby Dallia; four bottles for the night, cloth diapers with wash clothes, medicine, and a rattle. Hawkeye pulled out one of the bottles from the bag, placing it on top of the little burner to warm up. “How has she been?” 

“So far counting a few sheep, but I just know she’s going to be yelling her lungs out soon,” whispered Trapper, not caring if his arm was falling numb from holding her. “How are the other kids?”

“All healthy and checked for. Igor was able to find some canned peaches for them to munch on,” said Bj. Right on cue from Trapper’s jinxing, Baby Dallia scrunched up her tiny chubby face, belting out a high pitched cry. All of the men jumped in sudden surprise but moved right into action like in OR. Trapper rocked Dallia gently, shushing to the best of his ability. Bj was quick to grab the warm bottle, dabbing a bit on her wrist to not burn the little girl, passing it to Hawk. Hawk gently held the bottle to the baby’s lips, smiling down at how fast she was able to recognize feeding time. 

“Wow I can see the appeal you two have for these creatures,” said Hawkeye, switching the bottle into Trapper’s hand. 

“It’s a great experience all around,” said Bj. 

“I’ll be right back. Gonna get an ice chest set up for the other bottles,” Hawkeye smoothly inched up from the cot, kissing Trapper on the cheek with three bottles under his arm.

“Don’t forget to check on the other kids,” said Trapper. 

“Yes, Honey!” Trapper only smiled with a shaking head as he watched Hawkeye disappear in the distance. 

“I call burping duty,” said Bj. 

“I’ll be glad to give you that job. Becky always managed to get throw up on me, even if Louise already finished burping her,” 

Bj chuckled from the thought, draping a washcloth on his shoulder, ready for Dallia. “You look like a natural with Dallia,” 

“Really? I was trying hard not to be,” said Trapper sarcastically, passing the baby to Bj. “You’re not getting the same feeling from seeing these munchkins? Turning on the dad switch?” 

“I believe it’s a little bit different than that. I still have the doctor switch on when I see them,” Bj cocked a brow, patting heavily on Dallia’s back. “Hawk filled me in on what happened with Kim. I’m sorry you had to deal with that,”

Trapper shrugged a shoulder, trying his best to seem unfazed. “It’s whatever. Kim was a handful anyway. Had to rescue him out of the minefield,” 

“It’s okay to admit you felt sad after, Trapper,” Bj reassured, shifting Dallia into his arms, checking if her diaper was still clean. “You wanted another child. It’s normal to think about something like that and dream. I’m already picturing Erin as a big sister,” 

Trapper sighed out, debating to pour himself a glass of gin or be a responsible surrogate dad for the night. “But it wasn’t just having some silly little dream,” Trapper muttered, leaning over on his knees.

“How so?” asked Bj, rocking little Dallia to sleep.

“There was a moment where I felt it was my purpose to be here. We got dragged here kickin’ and screamin’ to play meatball surgeons. That isn’t my purpose in here no matter what MacArthur says,” 

A smile grew on Bj’s lips, glancing between Trapper and Dallia. “Then maybe you found your real purpose?” Trapper scrunched his brows together. “Dallia is a two-month-old baby with no one but an overworked underappreciated nurse. Kim wasn’t meant to be yours but Dallia could be,” 

“Don’t come in here and try to get my hopes up, Beej. I can’t ask again,” 

“Why not? This time it’s different. I’m sure even Cratty saw right through you,” 

“She’s a baby. I doubt Louise would want to have another one by herself. Even if she had all the help in the world,” 

“But you’re still here,”

Before Trapper could object even further to the idea, Dallia began her small wails again, causing the captain to jump on his feet. Trapper swooped Dallia out of Bj’s arms, rocking her as he checked everything. “Only a diaper change,” reassured Trapper, kneeling down in front of his cot. Bj passed Trapper the clean supplies, heading out to clean the dirty as best as he could. “It’s gonna be okay, pumpkin. No more tears. Daddy’s got-,” Trapper bit his lip to stop himself, shaking his head in an effort to stop getting attached. 

“Honey, I’m back! And I come bringing two more to the bunch. I always wanted three kids,” announced Hawkeye, holding the hands of a pair of little boys no more than 6. “Here, the both of you can have your own cot,” hawkeye said to the boys, both smiling when they jumped into their sleeping quarters. “Did I miss anything?”

“Just a diaper change,” Trapper whispered as he swaddled Dallia. 

“Aww I wanted to experience something,” pouted Hawkeye. 

Trapper flashed his classic smile at Hawkeye. “Want to rock her to sleep? She’s had an eventful day,” asked Trapper. He didn’t wait to hear Hawkeye’s answer, passing Dallia right into him. Even without much experience, Hawkeye could find the right rhythm to rock Dallia, shifting from one foot to the other. Trapper pet Dallia’s hair softly, whispering a lullaby to her. This combo did a fast trick, the couple beaming with glee as Dallia slowly shut her eyes, Hawkeye carefully shuffling to the bassinet. With Hawk’s hand protecting the baby’s head, Dallia was out for the night. 

“She really is precious isn’t she,” muttered Hawkeye. 

“Yeah. She really is,” Trapper said, seeing the other two kids out for the night. “Hey, Hawk, what would you think if I pulled another Kim?” 

“I’d say it’s about time. Did Dr. Hunnicutt tried to convince you?” Hawkeye asked, the couple sitting down on Trapper’s cot. 

“Dallia doesn’t have anyone. I know she’s young and we couldn’t send her right away. But what if I ask Cratty to keep her until we head back stateside? She’ll be a bit older,” 

“Who exactly are we?” 

“You and I. Us taking Dallia back to Boston and showing her her two older sisters. Too far fetched?” 

Hawkeye smiled, entangling his fingers through Trappers, grasping his hand. “Not by any means, my darling,” 

“Hello boys,” said Nurse Cratty tired, walking in with Bj behind her. “Got any tea to spare,” 

“Of course. Hawk and Trap haven’t even had a glass yet,” said Bj, pouring two glasses for him and Cratty. 

“I like to be sober when I’m taking care of my kids,” yawned Trapper.

“Which means I have to be a sober man now,” yawned Hawkeye. 

“Well, you men have done a pretty good job with these three, especially baby Dallia. Remind me that I owe you guys one,” 

The trio of doctors all exchanged a look between each other, Trapper biting his lips from nerves. “Yeah, I’ll remember that tomorrow morning,” 

*

* * *

“Aye yo Beej!” yelled out Trapper, jogging his way to the supply shed. 

“What’s up, Trap? Need me in post-op?” 

“No Frank’s got it. Hawk and I were ‘bout to head out for a little visit. Wanna see you niece?” 

Bj cracked a bright smile, locking the shed door. “I’d love to. Hawkeye finished the baby beanie?”

Trapper rolled his eyes, leading Bj to the jeeps. “Yes, and the other six that Dallia needs because she _has to_ wear a different one every single day,” Bj laughed out into the air, shaking his head as the two dads bonded about their youngest ones.


End file.
